London: Captaincy had bogged down fiery English batsman Kevin Pietersen to such an extent that he now equates the job to facing an oncoming train and says it gets worse when the team performs badly.
"All day every day, it's like facing an oncoming train.It absolutely hammers you," Pietersen toldThe Daily Telegraph.
"Then if you're not playing well, like we weren't in India, it's just negative press conference after negative press conference and eventually it affects the way you play.It just weighs you down," he added.
Pietersen's was a controversy-ridden stint during which he had a public spat with coach Peter Moores before both were asked to step down.
Looking back, the South African-born batsman said he wasn't as politically correct as was required of him.
"The fact is, some guys obviously do it better than others. Some guys are more politically correct than others.For me it was a great chapter in my life that I enjoyed. But you know, it's a tough, tough job. I promise you now, the moment I became captain, my mobile phone did not stop.
Pietersen said he also got tired of the various off-field duties of a captain which included attending innumerable meetings.
"The stuff you have to sort out for the team, things for the England and Wales Cricket Board, you have functions to go to, you have to pop into a captain's meeting, you have to have the captain's picture taken with the trophies before a match," he said.
Talking about next week's Ashes, Pietersen said the bigger the stage, the better geared up he is to perform.
"The bigger the occasion, the greater the pressure, the more I love it," he said.
"I'm not worried. No way. I can't wait. Bring it on. It's going to be huge. And that's what I love."
Pietersen said he has realised the importance of being part of the national team and would do all he can to remain in the side.
"I'd carry the water for England. We're in such a privileged position to play international sport that for us to go negative is ridiculous.
"I made some comments three years ago about being tired and wanting a break, and I regret that now, it was silly. I put my head down after that. I made the decision to play as hard as I can for as long as I can. Just live the dream."